If it were as simple as telling someone the right way to go and then watching them do what was told to them, life would be perfect.
However, life is not perfect and people often don’t listen to reason before making major decisions. No Wedding No Womb attempts to challenge men and women who think it is cool to go half on a baby to instead, get married first and then plan a family. Note: I wrote “plan a family,” not roll the dice and have unprotected sex and what may be, may be. No Wedding No Womb is an initiative to get the 72 percent single mother birthrate in the black community down a bit. This statistic says that almost all of the live births in the black community are to single mothers. Why?
Granted, many of these women only want a baby and not the man. The man is an optional part of the relationship. This is wrong and selfish thinking. If the man a woman sleeps with doesn’t want children and won’t practice safe sex or use any type of birth control, then that woman should not sleep with that man.
Start using birth control women or don’t be anxious to have a boyfriend in which to be sexually active.
As it stands many of the single moms who are having 72 percent of the out-of-wedlock babies are also jobless and not in the workforce--statistically speaking. Of course, there is a portion of these women who could stand to benefit from parenting classes while they themselves are still growing up.
That is really what the problem is: women need to grow up. Men say things that aren’t true, like “I love you,” “I want to start a family,” and “I don’t want you to get an abortion.” These are the things men say to get you to have their baby and to have sex. How many times do they say, “Will you marry me and be my wife?”
There is a large population of men who only want to have a good time and consider the woman they are having the good time with un-marriable or not mother material and thus, are these men are not interested in anything but sex. They want no permanent ties to the woman who eventually becomes baby momma. That insipid, ignorant term that modern-minded individuals throw around like they are speaking of the newest dress length, hairstyle or dance is in widespread use. Where is the shame? It went out of the window with their clothes. The reason these women aren’t marriage material is because they are of low morals in the man’s eyes. He wouldn’t want a woman of that upbringing, raising his children, being introduced to his close friends, family, boss etc. (unless she is really pretty and makes a decent amount of money.) However, they have made a baby together. And the baby isn’t even a love child because there was no love involved in his or her making--except the love of God for all living creatures.
If the loose moral woman does not stop having indiscriminate babies, this epidemic in the black community will not stop. What can be more horrible that being permanently tethered to someone you don’t like or respect? How do you think that man will feel about the offspring of their loveless union.? He won’t feel a thing because he has low morals as well.
Some women are selfish and just want a baby. The man can do as he pleases. It is a selfish act because the child will always wonder why a person would impregnate a women and abandon her. What is the purpose-- to hurt the woman or the child? The child will learn in time the woman had a void to fill and the baby filled the void.
Men are overwhelmed with lustful and false images of a woman based on the entertainment industry’s notion of womanhood--a very theatrical version of a woman indeed. It is as if normal, regular women don’t exist and they see them every day. Most men criticize a woman who does not have long, flowing hair, beautiful designer clothes, manicured nails and money falling out of her pocketbook. Most young men want a ready-made woman. It does not matter to him that he cannot afford her because he doesn’t understand these things. He only wants the beautiful creature he sees.
This is where No Wedding, No Womb comes in. Explain how to start a family. Find a naturally beautiful girl of good moral upbringing and marry her. Put her in your house that you bought and then start a family with her, thinking realistically about how many children you two can financially and emotionally support.
Or, fall in love with whomever you want and get married. The idea is to get married first. Okay, if you marry second--at least you are married.
The group says nothing of empty marriages, bad and abusive marriages ruining children’s lives. Nothing of selfish, immature parents who have more time for careers and less time for the kids they have brought into the world.
It says nothing of waiting and examining the person in which you are intimate. The organization was started by a woman who describes herself as a “baby momma.” The organization also does not address the economic disparities between minority and white household incomes and the insistent classism rampant in our materialistic society that work against families in general but especially young poor and working class marriages. Most men don’t marry because they are un or undereducated and are un or underemployed. They can not image taking care of a household because they can barely take care of themselves.
The organization does not address the way we view ourselves in the black community and no matter what the scenario, we don’t demonstrate love for our race as a race. We do not value ourselves enough to create commerce in our own communities, live and shop around ourselves voluntarily like the National Black Agenda would have us to do.
The organization does not address the engaging in loveless sex sessions by anyone able to have sex. Nor does it address women and men who engage in alternative lifestyles in secret and in spite of marriage or a baby.
Lastly, the organization does not address the issue that the only ones having babies are these women who are baby mommas and that the birth rate for white and black women is the lowest ever and expected to get lower.
Without love, there is no incentive to get married in a romantic sense. And if a man agrees to marry a woman, baby or not, he loves her and values her and is proud to have her as his wife.
Marriage used to be mostly for the wealthy to grow their wealth, love had no place. The poor married for love because they had nothing else to do besides grow a family on the off chance that an offspring may break free of the lower class. Birth control pills changed the way families were planned. Women were free for the first time not to die in childbirth or have unwanted children during the 1960s--as long as the woman’s husband allowed her to take them.
The idea of the middle class family is fueling this push to lessen the out-of-wedlock birthrate in the black community. However, the middle class is more than an income level. It is a type of moralistic thinking and educational level that makes possible for a man and a woman to want to be with each other in marriage and commit the selfless act of having and rearing children.
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